i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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