adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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