is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
