I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Randomize
