If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
