I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
