Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
