I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
nut hugger
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
