just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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