We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
