I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
