What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
