I want to stick my p in your. b.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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