haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
