I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
