He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
