After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
