dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
