After last night, I could never be a politician.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
