What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
