Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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