I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
