I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
