you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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