cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
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