Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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