So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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