i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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