My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
