Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Randomize
