The brown eye won't let me do that either.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
