I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
