yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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