just survived the first fart of the relationship.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
