Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
