you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
