they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
