I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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