i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
