Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
