All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
