she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
