apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
