Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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