wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I'm both gender and math confused
I see more hoeing in ur future
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