he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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