this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
