people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
