He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
