please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
